Oregon Magazine

Pull the Plug on Granny

April 6, 2011 -- Just as cute during the age of Newt, the American Progressive (socialist/communist/fascist) movement is rising in emotional crisis as the evil Tea Party conservatives in the U.S. House of Representatives begin to threaten decades of social advancement.  Faced with a mere 14 trillion dollar debt ...

$14,000,000,000,000  (and some cents, all in the red)

... these hooligans are trying to crush every decent program created since the Socialist Manifesto -- commonly called the
Manifesto of the Communist Party (circa 1848) --
by Karl Marx was published in Merry olde England. That was in the Nineteenth Century. A.D.  Das Kapital, his "masterwork," came out during the American Civil War, decades before the masterwork of Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf.  (I suppose I should mention that the Manifesto was originally called Socialist by Mr. Marx, but as it was about to be printed in Great Britain, he learned that followers of his had recently made the headlines, there, causing a public disturbance that had damaged the movement's popularity.  He renamed the book the Communist Manifesto right away, because it didn't make any difference to him.  It was his philosophy.  He knew that both designations meant the same thing. So does the term fascism.  Marx or Hitler, It's all about centralized control identical to that of a classical monarchy.  Dictatorships are dictatorships.)

(The "A.D" in the paragraph above stands for Anno Domini, which is Latin for "Year of the Lord."  Also translated as "our Lord," it's a Christian thing.  Progressives hate it for that reason.  The years before the birth of Christ in our calendar used to be called "B.C.," but the professors in your schools and universities who often participate in LPB, or Liberal Public Broadcasting, programming now prefer "B.C.E," which stands for "Before Current Era."  That is the way it's done in textbooks, classroom discussion and  lectures about ancient civilizations, physics, geology, planetary science, anthropology and so forth, these days.  Before Christ violates the separation of church and state, of course.)

Anyway, the evil conservatives are causing trouble.  By acting upon the instructions they got from the people who voted for them, they are demanding that the government should stop selling treasury bonds to the Chinese Communist government, and using that borrowed money to fund an explosion of the welfare state.  We need schools that say B.C.E instead of B.C., Cowboy Rodeos in Nevada, Bridges to Nowhere, sex instruction to fourth graders, mass-Soviet-style public housing projects that turn into crime-ridden slums, mass transit systems nobody wants and dozens of government programs and regulatory agencies that are slowly destroying freedom, the family and the private economy.

LBJ knew how to keep 'em down in the Hood

We've brought it up before in this magazine, but the Progressives have a point here.  The current big deal is jobs in America.  With Johnson's Great Society legislation package, for example, the illegitimacy rate in the Chicago black neighborhoods went from 18% to 80%  in a decade.  Without the various welfare subsidies, the abortion doctor industry there could suffer. 

The Tea Pubbies are going to shut down the government?  There were government shutdowns every year when Jimmy Carter was president.  Oddly, the MSM, or Mainstream Media, didn't notice it.  And Carter had both economic stagnation and inflation, just like Obama does, today. We called it "stagflation" back then.  But, the mile-long gas station lines were full of people who had no problem with waiting for a hour to get to a gas pump, then watching the price rise while the gas was flowing into their tank.  It was a community experience.  Communism is a communal experence.  Obama was a community organizer.  America is a community of communities, these days.  It's a Marxist thing.

If you're going to use class distinction as your battering ram against America, the more classes the better.

Ice makes a cool mobile graveyard

It's hard to hold to the point here.  There are so many to make.  Now back to granny.  You see, the problem with the conservative demands for government fiscal sanity is that it endangers socialized medicine.  ObamaCare had the problem solved in that legislation until Sarah Palin noticed the death panels in there.  A great deal of socialist news airtime and print space had to be devoted to the coverup about that.  Palin had to be demonized to distract the public while the Dems quietly slid that part out of the legislation, for now -- but everything worked out because they slipped secret funding in there at the same time. 

And, in the end, the official death panels had been a backup, anyway.  The basic mechanics of ObamaCare make sure that Granny will get a pill instead of a pacemaker.  In that area, socialized medicine is fully in agreement with traditional Inuit (Eskimo) senior health care tradition.  Just sit the elderly on an iceberg during a blizzard and at 50 below zero they'll be a wrinkled TV dinner for passing polar bears in a few hours.  Talk about green !!  This is recycling with a human dimension !!

Yes, it seems harsh to people who think scoring should be eliminated in sports, but it's a socialist necessity.  Look at North Korea.  The people are starving.  The time is comng when they'll have to invade a capitalist nation to get food -- and old people are useless in war.  They can't fight, and can't even work in a communist agricultural commune back home. Doctors are needed for combat troops in war.  And, walking around with canes, seniors reduce the efficiency of operations aboard the aircraft carrier NK Dear Leader during aggressive combat exercizes near unfairly well-fed capitalist imperialist farmers. 

If you don't get rid of the old folks, your socialized medicine waiting lines will soon look like Jimmy Carter's gasoline station waiting lines.  I mean, the situation here is plain for anybody to see.  If we let the Tea Party types save granny long enough to vote, not being a typical college Stalinist dupe, she'll vote for the wrong people.  Obviously, we have to convince everybody that the capitalists want to get rid of her, not us Progressives.  Yes, that is a lie, but as any liberal knows, the end justifies the means.  If most of the nanny-state, emotionally-sloshed, anti-sports-scoreboard types vote for us, we can take care of the problem, ourselvse -- under the guise of fairness, social justice and the American Dream.

In the name of the people, of course 

Power over the people.  No, that's not the propaganda line.  It's power to the people.  Pure Janis Joplin. The very essence of Jane Fonda.  Hippy dupes in Stalinist coups.  Future serfs on parade in the streets.  Redistribution of all power and weath to our dear socialist leaders, and distribution of equal poverty to the public.

When we pull this off, maybe "president" should be changed to "Dear Leader."  And everybody gets a Nike Mao cap, right?.


© 2011 Oregon Magazine